Hello Tanya

Ep.08- Seven Cardinal Rules of Life (part two)

• Tanya Barlow • Season 1 • Episode 8

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Welcome back to the Hello Tanya Podcast! This week I'll continue exploring the Seven cardinal rules of life according to my spiritual healer, covering rules four through seven while adding to our mirror work practice with new affirmations.

• Rule Four: No one is in charge of your happiness except you - taking emotional responsibility and finding joy within
• Rule Five: Don't compare your life to others or judge them - everyone's journey is different
• Rule Six: Stop thinking too much - trust that answers will come when you least expect them
• Rule 7: Smile, you don't own all the problems in the world - gain perspective and give yourself a break
• Mirror Work Moment

Next week I'll be discussing episode heavy dreams and saying less.


Production design, intro music and video by Christopher Stratton. Podcast photos by Frances Carter. Find Tanya at @hellotanya and the pod at @hellotanyapod on IG, and https://www.youtube.com/@hellotanyapod <3

Speaker 1:

Hi, hello. Welcome back to another episode of the Hello Tanya podcast. Welcome back to another episode of the Hello Tanya podcast. This is where I share little tips, tricks, lessons, exercises, concepts and frameworks from seeing a spiritual healer for the last three years. I'm sharing things that I have found helpful and I hope that you find them helpful too. If this is your first time here, welcome. I highly recommend going back to the beginning, to episode one, just for a little context, and we are building on things here. If this is not your first time, welcome back. It is episode eight. Eight Eight of these Eight. I didn't think I could even do one, and here we are. So episode eight. I hope that you have tried to make peace with your past, avoid boomerangs, know that what other people think of you is none of your business, and remember that time is a healer. If you have or haven't tried any of these exercises that I've shared, I'm still so glad that you're here and I'm so proud of you. Regardless, I hope there's been a little something amongst these episodes that has resonated with you and that you've found helpful. Thank you for spending the time with me, whether you are making breakfast, doing the dishes, going to work or going to bed.

Speaker 1:

Alrighty, so we are going to cover the second half of the seven cardinal rules of life, according to Lika, my spiritual healer of life. According to Lika, my spiritual healer, so some are simpler than others, so I will just begin. Rule number four no one is in charge of your happiness except you. No one else will make you happy. Okay, this one can feel accusatory or like a gut punch if you're not ready for it, like most of these, the reverse is also true you are not in charge of anyone else's happiness or feelings. So let's take a moment with this no one is in charge of your happiness except for you. No one else will make you happy.

Speaker 1:

To me, this feels like it's about personal responsibility, like emotional responsibility. Ultimately, you are responsible for how you feel. It's a choice to be happy, sad, bitter, miserable, confident, etc. I know it's pretty simplified, like simply saying it's a choice to be happy, okay, but it's a good reminder that, yeah, your happiness has to come from inside of you, right, like it's a choice to prioritize things, thoughts, people or places that are good for us. She's not saying that happiness only comes from you. It's just that you are in charge of it. My dog, my work, my friends all make me happy, but I'm choosing that, you know.

Speaker 1:

So this theme has come up before. It's bringing things back to personal responsibility. You are in charge of your happiness, not some future romantic partner job opportunity, not some future romantic partner job opportunity, money or whatever you. You, no one else Relying on someone or something else as your only source of happiness. Oof, that just sounds like a recipe for disaster and disappointment. Make it your own, it will somehow feel easier.

Speaker 1:

Okay, rule number five Don't compare your life to others and don't judge them. You have no idea what their journey is about. I like this one Much, like what other people think of you as none of your business. The very same goes for others. It's easy to latch on to someone who you perceive as quote unquote competition and compare and contrast as quote unquote successful as them. You and I will never truly know what other people have gone through, are going through or have changed about themselves or even think about themselves. Comparison is boring. Judgment is boring. Like what's the point? This feels like dangerous crap magnet territory to me, to be honest, once you start comparing yourself, perceived success or whatever, it's like locking into a race that you will ultimately always lose. The same goes for gaining success or winning over someone else and clocking that Like. What is the point of that? Who is that for? I'm a very big fan of minding my own business, staying in my lane and hoping that we all win. We can all be winners in whatever we want. Comparison and judgment just feels like tools of capitalism, so that we fight with ourselves and others instead of focusing on our own joys and wins. Again, as always, this feels easier said than done. In a social media context or a competitive industry where sometimes you may literally be judged and compared with your peers, you can still wish yourself and others success and hope we all win. We can all win, guys. All right.

Speaker 1:

Moving on to rule number six, rule number six is for my anxious overthinkers. Here it is Stop thinking so much. Sorry, my bad. Let me repeat that. Stop thinking too much. It's all right not to know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect. Expect, yeah, yeah, I know. It is all very well and good to simply say hey, stop thinking too much. Smooth brain time.

Speaker 1:

The unspoken part of this rule, though, and a common running theme through most of these concepts and exercises. It's trust. It's trust Trusting that an answer will come to you, trusting that, when the time comes, your intuition and gut feeling will kick in at the right moment and tell you what to do and steer you in the right direction. Like, are you ever working on something and or figuring out a problem and feel the need to do something else? Like go for a walk or watch a movie, and somehow your brain is still working in the background and when you return to it you have a different perspective. Sometimes that metaphorical walk will take much, much longer than you'd want or expect, but trust no-transcript, it always does.

Speaker 1:

And finally, a very simple and silly one for number seven, for rule number seven of the seven cardinal rules of life Smile. You don't own all the problems in the world. Sure, it's a little condescending, sure not great being told to smile, but it's kind of true, right, we don't own every problem in the world. We are not responsible for every problem in the world. I interpret this one as like hey, if you're feeling overwhelmed, give yourself a little bit of a break. Maybe take 10 steps back and really look at what you're actually dealing with. I interpret this as an invitation for gratitude for the problems I no longer have or have overcome or have overcome. And thus concludes the seven cardinal rules of life according to Liga. It's like in no way comprehensive or anything, but there's some good guidelines and tips in there. I try to write these out in every brand new notebook or journal as a little reminder.

Speaker 1:

Okay, we're on to mirror work moment. As a reminder, mirror work is gassing yourself up in the mirror, approaching the mirror with kindness and love, like you are approaching a fan Sorry as you as though you are a fan, as though you are approaching your best friend and speaking to yourself with kindness and love and saying all the things that you have wanted and needed to hear. As I've said in previous episodes, the goal, the aim, is to try and work up to about five minutes of this every day. A good time to do this would be brushing your teeth, doing your skincare, doing your hair, doing your makeup, anytime that you are getting ready in the morning or getting ready at night before going to bed. Also, as a side note, it's really nice to do this first thing in the morning because it kind of like sets you up for a really nice day.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I have my mirror here, we are working up, we are adding, we are repeating everything that I've said since episode one. Here we go. I love you and I'm proud of you. I trust myself, I value myself and I accept myself. I am proud of you, I trust myself, I value myself and I accept myself. I can do it alone. The universe is always with me and I am ready for miracles. Thank you, universe. Why am I so lucky? I am too strong to be broken. I am powerful and protected. I am grateful for this moment. I am the greatest project I will ever work on, on. All that I need is already mine. I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to.

Speaker 1:

This week, I'd like to invite you to also try saying I choose to focus on the positive aspects, aspects of my life. I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to. All right, now, that is a repetition and it's okay to repeat yourself because I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to. Because the evidence is here. I started a freaking podcast and a YouTube channel.

Speaker 1:

Again, I didn't think I could do this. It is scary, it is vulnerable, but it's also exciting and rewarding, and hoping that some of the nuggets that I've shared has helped you or someone else. It's a really nice feeling. And someone else is a really nice feeling. And, yeah, I just want to say thank you so much for spending the time with me. I really appreciate it. Thank you, and I hope that you are learning to be a little bit kinder to yourself, because I do feel like that is the key. And that is us for episode eight. I love you, I love me and thank you for being here.

Speaker 1:

Next week, I'll be talking about heavy dreams and saying less Shh. What does that mean? I guess we'll find out. Thank you, as always, to Christopher Stratton for everything. Literally, this podcast would not exist without Christopher's help Production designer, set, design, like recording the intro video, performing the music, everything. Emotional support also. Thank you, chris. Thing. Emotional support also. Thank you, chris. And, as always, again, thank you to friend. Thank you to francis carter for the beautiful photos for this podcast. All right, my friends, that is us for episode eight. I'm gonna press the outro button. Thank you, bye, bye.